Great Media Invite, Or the Greatest? / by Damon Lavrinc

You’ve worn down the Chinese pleather on your Payless stitch-toe Oxfords…

Your translucent-pink skin is chafed by the plastic wristband leaching butylbenzylates into your mercury-rich blood…

You’ve filed all your dubious filler copy masquerading as “stories”…

Now it’s time for you and your lumpen mob to kick back. Again.

Join us this Thursday evening — at least those of you not being whisked off to the Côte d’Azur by chartered jet — at XXXXX for the most insane New York Auto Show VIP pre-party you’ll ever attend, if you live to be 1,000 and the earth is overtaken by carnivorous sea urchins who can write.

When is it?: Thursday, March 28, 2013, 7 pm to midnight
(DON’T THROW OUT YOUR MEDIA PASS. NYIAS MEDIA VIP ENTRY ONLY FROM 7p-8p.)

Where is it?: XXXXXXX

What is it?: We’re teaming up with car-detailing products startup AMMO NYC (You know AMMO founder Larry Kosilla from his Drive Clean videos on YouTube). You’ll also see interesting stuff from Monticello Motor Club, Aston Martin Racing/TRG, 311RS and Nissan.

Space is limited. Send your RSVP to XXXXX@XXXXX. Remember — YOU MUST BRING YOUR NYIAS MEDIA PASS TO GET PAST THE GARGANTUAN, HEAVILY ARMED, EX-STASI THUGS MANNING THE DOOR.

WAIT. DON’T STOP READING YET, YOU ZERO-ATTENTION-SPAN INTERNET BASTARDS…